'Dave Fesmire: a life devoted to helping others'
Copyright News-Ledger, November 14, 2007
By Daryl Fisher
News-Ledger Features Editor
As I write this, it's Veterans Day, and like many people in West Sacramento, there's an American flag floating in the soft breeze in front of my house. But I am not really thinking about past and present wars, or even of the ones politicians will no doubt want us to fight in the future. Instead, I am thinking of just one Vietnam veteran, Dave Fesmire, who wasn't even in-country when I was there in 1969 and 1970. In fact, I didn't even meet Dave until the summer before last, but like countless other veterans who belonged to Darkhorse (the call sign of my unit in Vietnam), he enriched my life in a very important way.
First, a little history. Dave was born on an Air Force base in Virginia, grew up in the Sacramento area, and by his very early 20's had already served two tours of combat duty in Vietnam as a helicopter crewchief. Like many returning Vietnam veterans, Dave chose to put his memories of that war in a little box on a shelf and get on with his life. He became an emergency medical technician and by 1981 was qualified to do advanced life support. In 1992 he earned his paramedic certification and it was work he came to love. But then, in Dave's own words on his Darkhorse website, "Several years ago I began to wonder whatever happened to the rest of the guys I served with in Vietnam. I'm okay, but are they? So what initially started out as a search for my doorgunner and a few other people I flew with, has now turned into a unit database for us all, and to date, I have found, located, or at least
accounted for almost 700 of us."
"I first met Dave in 1997 when he was manning a little booth at a Vietnam helicopter pilots' reunion," said Russ Bayerski, who for a decade now has helped Dave use the Internet and copies of old military orders to track down Darkhorse veterans and put them in contact with each other. "I was immediately struck by his dedication and concern for others. He has personally experienced the thrill of being reuniting with friends he served with in Vietnam, and he wants as many other vets as possible to have a chance to feel that same kind of joy, too. I'm quite a bit younger than Dave, and he's like an adopted father to me now. I just can't tell you how much he means to me personally, and to so many others."
DAVE FESMIRE
In my own case, Dave found me a couple of summers ago and invited me to a unit reunion which was going to be held in Phoenix, Arizona. And thanks to all of Dave's hard work, I was reunited there with some very special old friends whom I hadn't seen in almost 40 years, including my ARP (aero rifle platoon) squad leader, Jim Gratton, whom I now talk to regularly on the telephone. So when Jim called me late last week, I just assumed it was going to be another fun conversation like we always have, but that was not to be.
"Have you heard the news?" Jim asked me, his voice sadder than usual.
"What news?"
"That Dave Fesmire has a pretty big tumor in him that goes from his liver to his heart and the doctors say there's really nothing they can do for him."
As I asked myself why bad things happen to good people, and then reminded myself of an important lesson I had learned in Vietnam -- that life is never fair or just -- Jim added, "Dave's definitely taking the news a lot better than all the rest of us, that's for sure."
"After we got over spending eight days in the hospital and the shock of the diagnosis," said Dave's wife, Karen, "Dave decided to do what he has always done -- get on with his life. He didn't want me waking up scared every morning, so we decided to make every day a celebration, and every meal a banquet. Dave has always had a wonderful sense of humor, and believe me, it hasn't gone anywhere. He's still laughing, talking to as many of his friends as his energy level will allow, and enjoying every single day. He has a remarkable support group, including his firefighter friends, his community friends, his Vietnam friends, and of course his family. And next Saturday, there's going to be a big celebration of his life we're calling "Fezzy Fest" and I'm sure he's going to love that. Some of his friends even came over to the house the other day and got all the spare motorcycle parts out of the garage and they're busy putting a Harley together for him because he could never seem to find the time to do it himself."
"Dave is one special human being," said Ken Stormer, who was also a helicopter crewchief in Vietnam. "He's one of those guys who never shirked a task and always did what had to be done. Add to that the fact that he's got this huge heart and can't turn anyone down for anything and you can see why we all love him. Plus he was smart enough to marry Karen, who is one super lady! The two of them have been giving up their vacations for years helping out Vietnam veterans like me and there's just not enough words for any of us to properly thank them."
"Dave and I have so much to be thankful for," said Karen, "beginning with Kindra, Katti, and Mikki, our three daughters, and Dannyelle, Jerry Lee, Johnny, and Jason, our four grandchildren. But as much as Dave has loved his family and his work and his community, he has always had a special place in his heart for the guys he served with in Vietnam. There's a very deep bond there, one that I think only they fully understand, and Dave has truly enjoyed bringing as many of them together again as he possibly could."
Next Saturday, I will be driving a few hours northwest of West Sacramento to a little town called Lucerne, where Dave and Karen now make their home, and where Dave has been a paramedic/firefighter for the Northshore Fire Protection District since 2001. I, along with some of the other Vietnam veterans whose lives Dave has touched over the years, will be attending "Fezzy Fest", which will not only celebrate Dave's life and accomplishments, but will also "roast" him in the process, and there's no doubt in any of our minds that Dave will be the most cheerful person at the event.
I will be driving to "Fezzy Fest" with Jim Gratton, the soldier I most admired while I was in Vietnam, and without Dave, I'm sure I would have never bumped into Jim again in this life, much less been able to become friends with him all over again. And I'm also sure at "Fezzy Fest" most of us will leave a lot of things unsaid, because that is too often the way old soldiers like to leave things. But since Karen has assured me that Dave will get around to reading this little column sooner or later, I just wanted him to know -- in writing -- that the gift he gave to me and so many others -- which is nothing less than closure to some of the most traumatic days of our lives -- is immeasurable, very deeply appreciated, and most important of all, proof-positive of a life incredibly well-lived.